How I Got Here
I Chose This Path Because I Used to be the Kind of Woman I Now Help
I wish I could tell you that coaching was always what I wanted to do growing up and that I followed my dreams and voila–now I’m a life coach! Well, I hate to break it to you but that wasn’t my story.
I was always “searching for myself” and trying to fit in wherever I thought sounded “right” at the time. In college, I changed majors four, count them FOUR, times, eventually graduating with an Advertising degree with hopes to see myself in a corner office on Madison Avenue, with a view, of course. I was attracted to the glamour of working in a fast-paced city in a high rise, wearing power suits and having power lunches with super cool men and women. Well, advertising didn’t work out quite exactly as I had hoped but I still ended up working in various marketing roles after college. As a modern professional woman, I aspired to rise to the top and make a ton of money. And I did ok. Just okay, never really rising as high as I wanted to, certainly, never feeling fulfilled or satisfied. Something was clearly missing. I had a lot of other things going on in my life that got in the way, and biggest obstacle of all was ME.
I realized the problem–I never really got to know ME and somewhere down the road, I lost the connection to my real self. All I knew is that I was always behind the eight ball, in EVERYTHING. As I saw most of my friends surpass me by leaps and bounds, in marriage, kids, relationships, career—here I was, still trying to figure it out. I was trying to find my way and create a life I thought I “should have” based on what I saw everyone else had. But I felt like an imposter. Who was I kidding? So my life was pretty bleak and meaningless, was the conclusion I drew about myself. Here I saw my friends happy and flourishing in their cool lives with their cool kids and their cool husbands and their cool careers, meanwhile I’m just floundering. I was playing the comparison game and I was clearly losing. They say “you always win the game you are playing” and I was winning at the game of trying to be someone and something else I clearly was not. That led to burnout in my corporate job and an overwhelming sense of dissatisfaction and disappointment in my life. I was stuck in this rut, forever trying to figure it out and allowing my own insecurities overshadow the great qualities I had, but didn’t really see them, until some friends pointed them out. And guess what, they don’t have it all figured out either. What? They had insecurities too? How could that be, they have everything? In fact, regardless of whether they did or not, what I realized was that the grass really isn’t always greener on the other side. What I realized was that I got sucked into the comparison game because I lost that connection to myself to the point that the things I thought I wanted were so misaligned with my values. It’s not that others were better than me. No, the truth was, I didn’t really know me anymore to know what the real ME wanted.
“It is through that brokenness that we find courage and strength. It is what empowers us to do great things.” — K.S. Ruff
Having this new clarity, I enrolled in a coaching certification program as a way to continue my pursuit of personal development. I knew I needed the work and I wanted to build on the momentum of this new realization about myself. What I got out of it was far greater than what I expected. Not only did I realize that I belong in the helping industry, I realized that all this time, the story I was telling myself was the very thing that prevented me from achieving the life I desired. Through my training, I learned a lot about myself and realized how my beliefs and the stories I told myself were obstacles to me trying to live the life I deserved. It was eye-opening indeed and I thought about how there must be other women who feel the same way I do. I thought there are those caught up in this chaotic world feeling like they have to do it all AND be all, as though they have to prove themselves to the world.
So I thought I’d dedicate the next chapter of my life helping women rise above, claim who they truly are and choose whatever it is that truly makes them happy, with no apologies, guilt or excuses. And do so without having to live by other people’s standards so they can free themselves from that stuck state.
“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”― C.G. Jung
So if any of my story resonates with you–the imposter syndrome, being stuck in a rut, crumbling under pressure, lack of direction or purpose, feeling the need to prove yourself to everyone, feeling left behind, lacking joy–I want you to know, that there is hope. There’s someone inside of you begging to be discovered again. And if only she can be freed from all the limiting beliefs, and the self-sabotage and the negative self-talk, she can do some pretty amazing things. Would you like to find out and see what possibilities lie ahead of you? If so, I invite you to book a free Discover the Possibilities for YOU Session with me and let’s get you to a place of clarity and joy.